Colts Fans Ranked Last Amongst NFL Fan Bases Who Drink The Most

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Colts Fans Ranked Last Amongst NFL Fan Bases Who Drink The Most

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Colts Fans Ranked Last Amongst NFL Fan Bases Who Drink The Most

The drinks aren't pouring in at Lucas Oil Stadium on Sunday's according to a recent poll studying NFL fan bases.

Joe Robbins | Getty Images


Football is such a prideful sport. 

It's constantly filled with debates of "who is the GOAT?" and "________ is SAWFT" and "Tom Brady is a SYSTEM QB". 

But maybe most of all - especially and only - with fans it's all about how many beers you can pound 30 minutes after Sunday mass before you yell at a bunch of guys that are 25 years younger than you for three hours until you get into a fight with a fellow bud light guzzler in section 410 and wind up on Barstool's instagram. 

According to alcohol.org, Colts fans have to worry about this the least among NFL fanbases. 

A recent poll they did found the ̶1̶̶2̶̶t̶̶h̶̶ ̶̶M̶̶a̶̶n̶   Colts Nation is shockingly ranked dead last at 32nd in which NFL team's fans drink the most despite their franchise quarterback retiring two weeks before the season and their HOF kicker shanking 7 points in the season opener. 

The study shows that the average fan only has two drinks in one sitting on a gameday. 

Something tells me this study was done prior to August 24th. 

The majority of fans who drink apparently prefer cocktails (29.4%) than anything else. Straight liquor is next at 11.8% followed by local craft beer at 8.8%. 

To be fair, who is to say how reliable of a source this is? They have Buffalo ranked 22nd. I mean, what else is there to do in Buffalo? We're talking about a fanbase that takes pride in throwing their body off of parked cars onto tables and splattering themselves with ketchup and mustard voluntarily. 

And they're only 22nd?

Anyways, I have a few reasons why you, Colts Nation, took a look at this list and found yourself in the basement (but definitely not the wine cellar). 

1. ANDREW LUCK RETIRED AFTER THE STUDY WAS DONE

  • Yeah, Jacoby looked really good on Sunday against the Chargers in front of 18,000 screaming fans. But the night Luck hung 'em up would have swayed that number to at least the mid-20's. I was on my bachelor party, and I think the 20 of us in Chicago may have done that ourselves. 

2. PEOPLE STILL ADJUSTING TO SUNDAY ALCOHOL SALES

  • Drinking on Sunday in Indiana? You best be saying your Hail ̶M̶̶a̶̶r̶̶y̶̶'̶̶s̶ Manning's. Indiana surprisingly found itself in the 21st century in 2017 allowing residents to start purchasing alcohol on Sunday's *BUT* only from 12-8 because well, let's not get too ahead of ourselves, sinners. Perhaps Hoosiers' palate's have yet to adjust to lukewarm booze quenching their thirst at 10 a.m. on the Lord's Day.

3. PEYTON MANNING HASN'T ENDORSED ANY

  • The Sheriff shockingly doesn't have any alcohol endorsers at the moment, so it's tough for Colts fans to be dedicated to any certain one. Sure, he praised Budweiser following the 2016 Super Bowl with the Broncos, but unfortunately Lucas Oil Stadium doesn't feature Budweiser on their menu. Only Bud Light. But it seems like that shouldn't matter since - like my grandmother always said - "a Bronco is just a Colt all grown up". Same could be said for a Bud Diesel and Bud Light. 

 4. RYAN GRIGSON WAS FIRED

  • The end of the Grigson era meant the end of stupid WR draft picks, signing old, washed-up free agents, and being able to watch the Colts enjoyably without being completely sauced. Who wouldn't need a beer or twelve watching the menacing 33-year-old Todd Herremans attempt to protect Andrew Luck, or the graceful running and vision of Trent Richardson. His decision making not being involved alone has caused fans to throw some water on their face, down their throat, and peaked their interest enough to want to remember the game, or at least the first half. 

These are merely a few options as to why Colts faithful find themselves last in this ranking. That or we're all just SAWFT AS HELL. 

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