Ranking Peyton Manning Commercials

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Ranking Peyton Manning Commercials

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Ranking Peyton Manning Commercials

With only 18 days until Colts kickoff, it's time we look back at some of Manning's best performances.

Photo Credit: YouTube screenshots


It's 18 days until kickoff. And while remembering some of Peyton Manning's best plays on the field would be great, remembering his commercials would be even more fun and possibly more important. 

These are - dare I say - his best performances. 

via GIPHY

5. High Voice Peyton Manning

  • DirecTV had a really good run with Manning in his post-Colts career (more on this later). The concept of this was one was funny, and inspired memes on end for the better half of 2013 and 2014. The only downfall with this one is, like most Manning commercials during football season, this was aired literally every commercial break every Sunday. After hearing that high-pitched-piercing scream five times in the first quarter of the 1 p.m. slate, it got a little old. It was almost to the point where my nose would bleed whenever I'd hear it by Thanksgiving. 

4. Chicken Parm You Taste So Good

  • This starts a run of very quoatable jingles featuring The Sheriff. I wonder how the sales of chicken parmesan did after this? They probably indirectly became the benefactors of this :30 second spot. Added bonus for this one - Peyton bobbling with his own bobblehead. 

3. Football On Your Phone

  • What an anthem. What a bold move. What a commercial. Andrew Luck surprised us all last spring when he disco-danced off in a TV spot, but there's no way in hell he'd do anything like this. And really, who else could? This is such a banger that I downloaded it and put it on my college party playlist (my parties weren't highly attended). Who's not bobbing their head to that beat? Plus, when August and September hit, there's nothing more hype then turning this on.

2. MasterCard Laser Rocket Arm

  • This one kind of ages Peyton, and all of us who remember quoting it at work or during recess football, but it's a classic. Simple, one shot, clearly Peyton Manning talking about Peyton Manning. Automatic winner. This would definitely win the "Most popular water cooler small talk quote" from 2004-2006, probably. 

1. MasterCard Ultimate Fan "D-Caf!"

  • Sometimes I forget that this was just an advertisement and not an SNL skit. It goes hand-in-hand with the United Way skit from back in the day. The guy signing the melon and the last scene when Manning flips about getting the apron tossed to him is A+. It looks like a guy who knows a thing or two about 35+ year old dudes freaking out over his signature or a sweaty wrist band.

This list was tough to narrow down because at this point - over 20 years since Manning has truly been in the American public eye - there's really almost too many to consider. But at the end of the day, these five are hands-down the most memorable. 

I think. 

Let me know yours @JoeyMulinaro

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